FATWA FOR FAMOUS FUNNYMAN

The Ayatollah Khomeini today imposed a fatwa on beloved comic actor Robin Williams. Williams joins celebrated British author Salman Rushdie in being sentenced to death, with a promise of eternal life for the Muslim who carries it out. The comedian has not announced how his life will be different with the fatwa or if he will make any changes to his lifestyle at all.
The fatwa was imposed, Khomeni said, because Williams refused to obey Khomeni’s new “sound-name” rule, dictating that everyone in the world had to start spelling their names exactly as they sounded.
“No deviations from my rule will be tolerated,” said Khomeni as he peered around a screenful of Arabic subtitles in a televised statement broadcast from the Sony Trinitron billboard TV in New York’s Times Square.